It's about time for a little update. And by little, I really mean big.
Since my last post a lot has happened, but many things also remain the same.
Let's start with what has happened.
Though I haven't received a big neon sign saying "what, when, how," I have been given the peace and assurance that I am, in fact, going back. I am currently shooting for the second week of December. Upon arriving, I will be house/cat sitting for a missionary friend as she heads back to the US for a four or five month furlough. Tickets haven't been bought, but in my head, that's what I have settled on. Things may change slightly between now and then, but that is the tentative plan.
Other news, and probably more exciting.....
MY PARENTS ARE COMING WITH ME!
I won't go into all the details of how they came to the decision, but my parents will be serving at Beautiful Gate with a commitment of two years. Their date of departure may differ from mine depending on how tying up all of our loose ends go. So we are packing up, selling the house, and moving to Lesotho! (If you know anyone who wants to live downtown Holland, let us know!) My mom will be serving as Operations Manager and hopes to spend some time working with the kids as well, and my dad will be serving as chaplain. It is truly incredible to see how God has been shaping their lives to perfectly lead them to BG. If you get a chance, ask them about it. It's beautiful.
So now the things that haven't changed.
I will, indeed, be going back to Beautiful Gate as well, but I also hope to get involved with my church there. My role is much less defined than my parents. That is kind of intimidating. But the church I attended has some awesome ministries that I would love to be a part of, specifically ministering in the mountains. I am also currently doing online seminary training, so that is another piece of the puzzle. My heart longs to spread truth. That is one need that I saw and desired so strongly to aid. In short, I am going to Lesotho to be available. I am an empty page ready for God to start writing on. Truth be told, that scares me, but I am also so excited to have the flexibility to move as God directs.
And now some of the more "poetic" thoughts I had today...
For one of my classes, I am reading "The Knowledge of the Holy" by AW Tozer. Here are a few lines that really struck me.
"Our insistence upon seeing ahead is natural enough, but it is a real hindrance to our spiritual progress. God has charged himself with full responsibility for our eternal happiness and stands ready to take over the management of our lives the moment we turn in faith to Him."
"God constantly encourages us to trust Him in the dark. 'I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron: and I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the Lord, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel . . . What I am is all that need matter to you, for there lie your hope and your peace. I will do what I will do, and it will all come to light at last, but how I do it is My secret. Trust me, and be not afraid."
I cannot describe how I felt while I read this today. He is beautiful beyond what words could ever say. My heart is so full that the love He has poured into my soul is leaking from my eyes in holy tears. His embrace is so warm that my cheeks are rosy and flush. I have not words to express my gratitude, no words to apologize for all my wrongs. Yet my spirit leaps and is satisfied in knowing that He has made me whole, that He has stripped me of my clothes stained and torn, and after humbling me to great vulnerability, hath cloaked me in the righteous robe of redemption. So though I desire nothing more than to be far-sighted, scanning the broad horizon set before me, I know He has created me to be near-sighted with great intention: to trust Him for each step, to marvel at the small details of life, and to surrender all control to Him, the perfect guide and companion.
I'm striving to trust Him in the dark, striving to trust and not be afraid. Two years is a lot longer than six months. Not knowing exactly what I will be doing makes me nauseous at times. But my hope and peace lie in all that God is: unchanging, omnipotent, wise, infinite.
I will continue to ask prayers for open doors and a spirit of willingness. And as a family, we ask prayer for the funds to make this possible, the perfect buyer for our house, and the emotional and spiritual preparation for this grand adventure.
And my prayer for you is that you too would experience this great richness that can only be found in our Lord and Savior, a richness that moves you to tears of beautiful love and delight.
Blessings and abundant peace,
Grace
