Tomorrow!

Well, tomorrow is the day! In 24 hours, I will be at the airport ready to check in and head off to a very grand adventure, indeed.

The overall feeling is excitement, but underneath are about 72 other feelings just floatin' around and waiting to settle. This week has been kind of emotionally charged, but God has blessed me with just enough peace, just enough joy to see me through.

At a prayer night we had on Sunday, the image came to mind of faith as a big mountain hike. You start at the bottom with excitement and a feeling of courage, ready to conquer the mountain. But you quickly realize the mountain is far bigger than you thought, and the trail more rocky and difficult than you expected. As you keep climbing, you get more and more tired and question why you ever thought you could climb the mountain in the first place. BUT. Just when you think your weary legs won't ever make it all the way, God levels the ground just enough to let you recoup, He provides a trickle of a waterfall to refresh you. So you keep going, a glimpse of the end in sight. It continues to be really difficult, and it's frustrating that God didn't keep the level ground longer or take you up an easier path. But it's the path He gave nonetheless, so you keep going, hoping the end reward is worth all the struggle. And finally, out of breath and almost in tears, you see the top. A surge of energy propels you forward and oh -- the loveliest sight.

 Peaceful blue waters, endless sky, and the promise of a distant land.

I think we often believe that when you start walking with God, the ground becomes smooth and flat. Oh contraire. I think it get's harder, your weakness more evident than before. But the end...oh the sweet end. It is more glorious than staying at the bottom, so much more rewarding than quitting half way through. For at the top is peace, at the top you see where you have been and you see where God has wanted you to be all along.

So I think I'm in the middle of my climb. I have seen a glimpse of what is to come. I have felt like turning around or just sitting and crying. But my spirit is tired yet refreshed. I know that the rest of the climb may very well be more difficult than the beginning, but I have tasted and seen the goodness of our Lord, and I know my struggle is not in vain.

I'm really excited to see where God takes me, where He guides my parents. It would be foolish to say I'm not a bit nervous about the change and the challenge, but I know too that it is always worth it. Stepping forward is always worth it.

We cherish your prayers for safe travel and for smooth transitions. We pray protection over our hearts and minds as the devil quickly tells us we aren't cut out for the hike.

Until we meet again...
Grace






Wow I'm just excited to see my kiddos.

Come Further Up

Every once in awhile, an unexpected memory of my kids pricks my heart.

Sometimes it's something really funny, like the time one of the many 2 year old boys fell asleep during play group and did the biggest head bobs I have ever seen, or any of the countless times the kids fell asleep on the toilet, or when my little stinker would climb up on the table after bath time and dance like an old man in his birthday suit.

Other times it's the memories that break your heart; the look of abandonment or the fear in the eyes of new comers.

Today it is memories of their gentle, kind, and nurturing spirits. One of our little boys who has now been reunited with his family has one of the most nurturing hearts I have ever seen (though he is a huge stinker.) He loved to help sweep the front stoop with the house mothers, carry baby dolls on his back, and scootch (is that even a real word?) the younger kids close and pretend to feed them. One of my boys is just the cuddliest, and he loved to trace my face with his brown little fingers. One of my dearest memories, though, is one that I have written about before. On one of my last days, I went out to play group to soak up a little more time with the kids. My cuddly boy jumped up into my arms and squeezed tight. So tight, in fact, that I started leaking tears (; Our oldest girl at the time (now living with her mother in Sweden!!) noticed and said, "You are sad? Pephi, Ausi Grace, pephi." (pephi = sorry) and she rubbed my back with her beautiful brown eyes looking into mine. Hokey toots these kids have such a capacity for love.

It is the memories like these that makes me so incredibly excited to be back. 

In just over 2 weeks, my parents and I will be on our way!! And if you haven't read the family blog (boersemablog.blogspot.com), I will give you a little update of where we are at. 

We have sold our house
We have a house ready for us when we arrive
We have furnishings for our house
We have a car
We have a dog :)
We have funding for the first year and commitments for more than half of the second year!

Praise Jesuuuus!

So, despite maybe the weight of my previous posts (I apologize. I realize I am a little dramatic at times...but they are my feelings nonetheless) I am so happy to say that there has been so much peace, so much excitement for the coming season. 

I just finished reading the Chronicles of Narnia yesterday, and I want to leave you with a few thoughts/quotes from The Last Battle.

As the children reach the land of Aslan, they continually hear him calling, "Come further up, come further in!" And I think our Lord does the same. As we enter into fellowship with him, he beckons us to get closer, get deeper, run harder towards him. That is my hope in this new year and new adventure.

And just as the children faced many trials and had much fear, I too face the future with uncertainty. However, I take peace in this truth: “But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan.” 

Friends, our Savior is so kind. He is SO good. And hokey toots I can't wait to come further up and further in.