Adoptions, Names, and Water

Today is a jumble of things. Forgive the lack of flow (:

Last week Friday, I got to experience my first adoption ceremony. I wish I had written about it that day so all the images and feelings were still vivid in my mind, but the day came and went and days kept coming and going without me having the time or energy to sit down and blog. So I will do my best to give it the justice it deserves...

I went into the chapel not knowing what to expect, but incredibly excited and joy-filled at what the day meant for this sibling set going to Canada. As the seats began to fill, I think our hearts did too. The Bo Me started the ceremony in song, and the joy and worship that filled the room was so thick you could taste it. The story of the children was told, their housemother spoke about them and gave the charge to the parents to grow them up in The Lord, and Bryan charged their oldest son to look out for his two new siblings. As they signed the final documents, the room was filled once again with the most worshipful praise, and the verse in my mind that kept running over and over again comes from Zephaniah 3:17, a verse about the redemption of God's children, Israel. 

The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

What a beautiful image! In seeing the joy these parents had in bringing their children home, it was as if I got a taste of what that first moment in heaven will look like: finally home, finally able to see our Father whom we have been waiting so long for, entering with joy as the heavenly hosts welcome you home with songs of great praise. 

We prayed a blessing over the family and enjoyed some tea and sweets, and the whole day my heart was so full. I cannot wait for the day when I get to see my Father. We are familiar with the adoption part of our faith, that God bought us with the blood of Christ to share in His inheritance, but to see it so closely made it so much more real. This family waited for 5 years to get their children, and with adoration they held them closely in their arms. Our Heavenly Father is waiting too, and when the time is right, we are going to be scooped up in His loving arms where He will rejoice over us with gladness, quiet us with His love, and sing joyfully over us, our mighty God who saved us. Mm. I cannot wait for that day!!

Two big things happened for me this week. I got my first compliment, and I got my Sesotho name from my housemothers! This culture is not one to praise you to your face. Though they will tell others how much they appreciate you, it is not often that they will actually tell you personally. So on Wednesday, as I was finishing up in my house and making sure all the babes had gotten their water, one of my housemothers said, "Ausi Grace, you are doing such good work here. Thank you for all you do. God bless you!" Though it was short, it meant the world to me! It is so rare to be complimented, and my heart swooned when she told me I was doing well. 

On Thursday, I got my Sesotho name (: My Bo Me talked between themselves and said, "You will be Ausi Relebohile, 'we are grateful'." As silly as it may sound, it felt like parents choosing a name when you are born, except that I got to be there and understand what was happening! It was a very warm moment for me to be named by my mamas, and to know that they chose a name fitting to how they saw me!

On Wednesday, we also welcomed a new volunteer, Brittany! She will be here for six months and is from West Michigan, so it is fun to make connections and play a little Dutch bingo. I am so excited for her to see and experience all that BG has to offer. She has already been a joy to have on campus (:

Our water was off for the past few days... We have a reserve tank, but it leaked and within the first day, we lost a third of our supply. The tank should last for ten days, but that was certainly not going to be happening at the rate we were losing water. So we flushed our toilet with pond water and a bucket, washed way too many dishes in filthy, cold, leftover sink water, and went without showers. It stunk in more ways than one. But this morning we got water back!! We don't know how long that will be for, so we have been told to remain conservative in our water usage, but it felt SO good to take a shower after four days of greasy hair and sticky skin. (There is so much that gets on you when you work with 60+ kids, a shower was SUCH a relief) So we would love prayers that our water stays and they get all the problems fixed, as this may only be temporary. It is not just us, but a very large portion of the community, so it is really detrimental for those who don't have any back up. Thanks!!

My friends, God is good. He is a God of redemption, a God of blessing, a God of provision, and a God whose mercies truly are new every morning. Each day is another opportunity to be in fellowship with Him, regardless of where you are. So seize each moment. Though circumstances may not be the best, your God is incapable of truly letting you down. Be still in His presence today. Drink fully from the living water of our Lord.

Beautiful Things

Well, it turns out that I am not a very faithful blogger... Sorry. I have had a plethora of thoughts running around in my head but not the will to write it all down. So I will do my best to summarize them all here:

I have been blessed with two weekends away, and my heart has become so full because of them. 

Two weekends ago, we went to Malealea Lodge, a lovely oasis in the mountains. When you step out from your little cabin to see this, your heart cannot help but be at ease. Though the picture does not show it well, this beautiful grassy lawn reaches out to endless mountains, endless sky. (And there are many more of this weekend on Facebook, if you are interested) I spent a lot of time sitting on the bench over this lookout to just be. I spent time with my Lord and let Him fill my lungs with His renewing breath.

We were also given the opportunity to go on a village tour, and the whole time I was just in awe at the beauty of simplicity. The people were so rich in so many ways. It is hard to describe, but there was such a sense of peace there in the mountains. 

While on the tour, I began asking our tour guides endless questions. We got on the topic of faith, and I was so blessed to be able to learn what they believe, and in turn, share the truth of the gospel with them. My heart found such satisfaction and fulfillment in sharing the Word of God with them, and I realized that I really desire to make disciples and to spread the hope of salvation that has been graciously given me.

With heart full and prompted by my Jesus, we went home rested and renewed. You wouldn't think that two days in the mountains could change your life, but I truly believe that it did. I came back to Beautiful Gate so anxious to share the word that I just started telling it to the kids. This, of course, was a silly thing to do, since they are all under five years old, have no concept of salvation, and don't even speak the same language. Nonetheless, I was overflowing with a need to tell someone!

God has been working in such beautiful ways since then. Both in my heart, and in the hearts of others. I had really felt a burden to reach out and minister to the housemothers during my stay here, but I was so unsure of how to do so and to be honest, I was really scared. How could I, a nineteen year old American, minister to these wise Basotho women whose English is so limited? But God opened up doors and gave me the courage to find a way. I asked my house moms if they would like to read the Bible together, and they all excitedly said yes! So I began going into the house during my break and the kids' nap time to simply read. A local volunteer who has been assigned to my house with me has especially been loving our time together. She is a fairly new Christian and is SO hungry for the word. She thinks so deeply and makes such beautiful connections. It is like I get to read the Bible for the very first time again! I have been able to see the wonder and power of the word through her, and each time, I am blessed. I thought we would meet once or twice a week from 2-3, but it has become everyday from 2-4. Mmm. I cannot even tell you how blessed I feel to do this with her and the other housemothers. They have a lot of cultural beliefs that have skewed the truth of the Word, so it is so cool to be able to share and clarify what God says. So good. I have found so much fulfillment in it and know that this is something I do not want to stop when I go back home. We are called to be disciple makers! That has always been God's mission, to share His glory with all nations. So GO! Share this beautiful love, this treasure, this truth!! 

After that jumble of thoughts.... This past weekend we went to Templehof Gamepark. 

 

To look out on this sunny view was so good. Plus we got to see a very pregnant mama lion, the daddy lion (and hear him roar!) and hold lion cubs. Eeeek! Makin dreams come true my friends. Makin dreams come true. We also saw emu, impala, wild dogs which are very endangered, peacocks, ostriches and their babies (which look really really funny) and "blue ball" monkeys. As I watched all these animals, and especially the lions, I was just in awe of how creative and majestic God is. I was actually reminded of Aslan from the Chronicles of Narnia and how there is such awe inspiring beauty and power in the lion, and how our savior is called the Lion of Judah. It was just such a nice time.

These weekends away refreshed my spirit and showed me so much of God's lovely creation, but they also made me more keenly aware of the beauty here on campus. There is beauty in walking down the sidewalk to hear my name being yelled from in my babyhouse and having all the kids sprint up to jump into my arms every morning. There is beauty in the laughter of a child who I couldn't even get to smile when I first arrived. There is beauty in the jubilant hallelujahs thrown in to our "Amen" song at snack time. There is beauty in the first steps of one of "my" babies today. There is beauty in so many things.

So I encourage you to seek out the beauty around you. It may be small, a brief moment of joy, or it may be big, like the horizon dotted with mountains that can do nothing else but bring glory to God. Life can easily become mundane, but when our eyes are opened to the things God has touched, we cannot help but think life to be beautiful.

One Month

Hokey toots, friends. It's already been a month. It seems so odd to say because the time has gone by so quickly. So I'm just gonna let this post be a reflection of that time. I will do my best. This could be a book.

The daily schedule, more or less...

I wake up at 6 to be in my house at 7. I have 14 kids: 2 infants, 2 crawlers, 2 toddlers, 3 pre-k, 3 preschoolers, and 2 kindergarteners. I have 9 boys and 5 girls, and there are 2 sibling sets, one of which is twins. After greeting them all and getting my morning dose of wet kisses, I dish up breakfast for both my house and the house we are connected to, feed my crawlers and toddlers, then clean up for both houses. Laundry gets hung outside after that (and there is a LOT) and then we go to playgroup. The older but not ready for school kids have singing, learning, and play time and I go with the crawlers to our soft room. There we work with kids to get them crawling, standing, walking, etc, and the room normally has 10-15 babies from all the houses. At 10, the kids have a snack and I help feed the underweight kids with some power porridge. (I don't think it's ever been called that before...but that's what it is) Tea time is from 10:30-11 and I go home for a little snack and time to relax, then back to playgroup where the kids get to play outside. Lunch comes next, and I dish up another 21 dishes and help feed the youngins and clean up. While the kids nap, I get a break until 3. Sometimes that means napping, sometimes it's reading, sometimes it's sitting at the picnic table and just talking with the other volunteers. At 3 the kids go back outside to play where I join them, and around 4 they get a snack and head home for baths. This is the BEST part of the day. Naked baby time. They finish their snacks and then strip down to get all clean, and I don't know what it is about it, but it is my absolute favorite. They run to the bath, get scrubbed down, and then they come running to me all happy and free to get rubbed with Vaseline. SO cute. After naked baby time comes another 21 plates, feeding youngins, cleaning up, and then I head home for the day.

There are days when it feels like so much and is so exhausting. Other days, however, go so quickly and the work seems like play. 

Some days I feel utterly defeated, inadequate, and unhelpful, while others are so fulfilling and full of joy and hope.

God can feel miles away one moment and right by my side the next.

In short, it's a roller coaster.

Silly things I miss...

My shower. Tortilla shells. Tacos. Anything mexican. 

More legitimate things I miss...

My friends and family. The ability to speak English to whoever I want (this may seem silly, but it's really true). The freedom to go somewhere by myself, on a bike ride, for a drive, etc. Complete alone time.  

God is really working in my heart. Slowly but surely, He is leading me and guiding me. There are a plethora of unknowns, but He is teaching me things about myself and putting desires deep within me.

This month has been good. This month has been fast. I have seen the beauty of the mountains, the simplicity life can bring, the indescribable joy of a child, the power of an Almighty God.

I would cherish your prayers for clarity and wisdom, opportunities to minister, and for protection from Satan's lies. There is so much more I would love to tell you, but we will leave it at this for now (: Thanks friends. Your support is so meaningful to me!

Father

This past week, I have been overwhelmed with what it means to be a child of God. 

Charles Spurgeon said, "God's people are doubly His children. They are His offspring by creation, and they are His sons by adoption in Christ." What a beautiful truth, that we should be called the sons of God not only because it is His breath that gives us life, but also because it is His sons blood that paid the bride price. Just as in marriage, we have been given a new name and our groom is building a home eternal. The beauty is that only our groom's father will know when the house is complete, and he isn't just the father in law, he is the one being who knows our every thought, every step, every heart beat. How glorious this house must be!

I live with 62 children who are radically loved and desired by this same God. They are twice the child of a perfect Father, and though they may not have earthly parents yet, they have been chosen two times by the giver of all good things, the redeemer of their souls, the rescuer, the King. I live with royalty. What a beautiful image of the Kingdom on earth. 

Charles Spurgeon goes on to say, "Abba, Father! He who can say this, hath uttered better music than cherubim or seraphim can reach. There is heaven in the depth of that word—Father! There is all I can ask; all my necessities can demand; all my wishes can desire. I have all in all to all eternity when I can say, 'Father.'"

There is heaven in the depth of that word -- Father! I cannot imagine the deep joy that must be felt by God when He hears His children say his name. I cannot imagine music more beautiful than angels can make. But I do understand that last part. Everything I could ever need or ask for is found in my Father. I have everything to the full from now until eternity if I can just say Father. 

So my friends, rest in the knowledge of being twice wanted, twice chosen, twice loved. 

Rest in the knowledge that if you can just say your dad's name, you will have your all in all for all eternity. 

Trials, temptations, and troubles will arise, but when you know who your Father is, you shall never be wanting. 

There is so much I could say about this Father, so much I could say about what it means to be His, but my desire today is that we just dwell with our Abba and smile with Him, knowing that we are His forever. 

Constant

Life at Beautiful Gate is anything but constant. Each day is a roller coaster of activity and emotions. 

Some days it is so easy to find the joy in life here: in the giggle of a child, a baby standing for the first time, playing in kiddie pools, praising Jesus at the top of our lungs...

Other days it is much more difficult. You feel defeated, unworthy, unequiped. Kids won't stop pulling your hair, the baby just keeps crying, you get thrown up on...

But what I have realized in my twelve days here is that, no matter how my day is going, The Lord is always drawing me in and saying, "Gracie, stay here beside me."

Psalm 92 says, "It is good to give thanks to The Lord."

1 Thessalonians says, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Now, Psalm 92 doesn't say, "It is easy to give thanks to The Lord," and 1 Thessalonians doesn't say, "Give thanks for all circumstances." But rather it is good to give thanks through all that we endure, for in this life we will have trouble, but God is so much bigger than that.

So give thanks in all things, not because it was all good or all from God, but because God is good and and he is there in it all.

Life at Beautiful Gate may not be constant, but I rejoice in saying that I am walking along this path with the God of unfailing, steadfast, and constant love, hope, and joy.

Here at Last

With heavy eyes, heavy bags, and very tired bodies, we rolled onto campus around midnight on Friday. 

After disappointing setbacks and a few boring days trapped in Michigan with all the snow, we finally made it. 

My first two days were spent relaxing and recovering from jet lag, meeting kids and housemothers, and simply taking it all in. I went to church with Brian and Anita and was so encouraged by it. Their theme for the year is to be difference makers, and I was reminded in the midst of my fears that God is not looking for perfect people. He is looking for people who know they are not perfect but are willing to do a perfect job. Many doubts have crept in...feelings of inadequacy mostly. But to be reminded of the omnipotence of God was so refreshing. He planned this long before I could ever imagine it, and he made it just right. 

This morning I met the administrative staff and joined them for devotions. We read about Abraham sacrificing Isaac and were struck again by his great faith and trust. Genesis 22:5 exemplifies it best when Abraham says to his servant, "You wait here. The boy and I are going there to worship, and then we will come back to you."  Even then he knew God must have had another plan. He took Him at His word and knew he was to become a great nation. My roommate Christina (or Terp as we lovingly call her) said that life is like a dance with God. We need to trust that he know what he is doing, and we must let him lead. If we don't, we end up stepping on each other's feet and instead of becoming a thing of grace, beauty, and celebration, it becomes messy, chaotic, and ugly. These next six months are bound to have difficult dances in them, and I don't think I am always going to want to go where He leads, but how good it is to start this journey with that image and goal of obedience in mind. 

Today I was assigned to Pula 1, one of the five baby houses. I met my housemothers, started getting to know my kids, and began the work that will be my life for these six months. It was overwhelming at first. There are a lot of kids, a lot of names I cannot say or remember, and just a lot to take in, but it was good. My heart has already begun melting for those little ones. They love without any hesitation. Though we cannot speak well to each other and we don't even know each other's names, they were so excited to hold my hand, sit in my lap, put their arms up to be held, and give me spitty kisses on the cheek. (The first child I met on Saturday was so excited that she immediately wanted to be held, and then proceeded to pee on me. Initiation is complete.) Everyone has been so welcoming, so joyous. The children are beautiful and happy. Their laughter is like the brilliance of sunshine. It warms your very soul. 

Thank you all who are praying. I am so touched by the support I have been given. My hope is to write once or twice a week. 

With much love...

Here We Go!

Well, this is it. My countdown is now to the hour.

I am ready. I really am. But that doesn't make leaving the one's you love any easier. I have always heard and believed it to be true, that if saying goodbye is hard, it means you are saying goodbye to something really good. Something worth coming back to. I am so blessed by the great cloud of witnesses I have supporting me in the States. It is so comforting to know that people want to be a part of what God has called me to. 

I can't wait to see how The Lord works. I know His ways are immeasurably higher than my ways, and though that really scares me, it really excites me too. I have real fears, real doubts, but God has proven Himself faithful.

We sang the song "Oceans" today in church, and the words rang so true that faith may fail, and fear does surround me, but God has never failed and He won't start now. What a beautiful promise.

So I'm going in faith. I'm going with trust. All I know about my life is that I'm leaving tomorrow. 

But that is so good. This journey is no doubt an adventure with my Savior and I wouldn't want to be doing it with anyone else.

Prayers for travel would be much appreciated. The winter weather is not in our favor...

Much love,

Grace Marie