I'm reading a book called Radical by David Platt. I picked it up at just the right time. As I am drawing closer to January 6, my heart has been getting more and more distracted. Though God has blessed me with the time to simply dwell in His presence, I have been filling my time with fleeting things...
New thought: I have come to realize that I hate disappointing people. I want to please them and make people happy, and when I cannot do that, I feel really awful about myself. Upon experiening this recently, I was convicted by the Spirit. Shootskies...that's the worst. It was brought to my attention that I had been disappointing God. I had put Him on the backburner and let him become the after-thought instead of my every thought. Though I know He gave me this semester to prepare my heart, I have let my heart become delighted in things apart from Him. And the bugger is, I wasn't feeling bad about it. So the nudge came from the Spirit, and I was feeling like too much light was being shed on my wrongs. I prayed about it two days ago and asked that He would renew my passion and love for His Word. I laid out my sins before Him, and what I received back was the beautiful reminder He gave His people Israel in the book of Jeremiah in the midst of their sin. In chapter 30, He revealed their sin and desparate need for Him. In chapter 31, He told them, "I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness with you." Hokety toots what a good God we serve. Though He despises sin, His faithfulness cannot fail and His love cannot be diminished, for the price of my blackened heart has been paid in full.
Yesterday, I picked up Radical. I have only read the first four chapters, but in those chapters, I have been reminded of why I am going to Beautiful Gate. I have been reminded of the power of God, the whole-hearted devotion He deserves, His mission for creation, and my part in it. After asking for a renewal of passion, God plopped this book in my lap a day later. Thankfully He answered me quickly (: So here are some thoughts and questions I have after reading just a sliver of this book...
The gift I have of salvation is worth everything. Everything. Do I get that? Am I willing to give up everything to buy that field where I found the treasure? Is the faith I have worth dying for? My answer to all of those things is probably no. This faith we have in the US is so safe. There is no risk in being a Christian, or at least the way we live as Christians. Yet Christians around the world and throughout history have danced to their deaths with singing, because they understood that there is so much more to life than what we have here. To be persecuted for Christ is a joy. To give Him everything brings the greatest reward of all. So what do I need to do to make it my life? What does living dangerously for The Lord look like? I don't know have an answer...I'm still searching.
I have at least 15 Bibles in my home right now. 15. And hokey toots, that is the living, breathing, perfect, holy word of a sovereign, powerful, mighty, awesome, omnipotent God. And I have fifteen copies of it!! Why do I waste so much time doing meaningless things when I can sit and listen to GOD?! He has written this beautiful book of love and salvation and justice and mercy, and yet picking it up seems like a chore at times. Why? WHY?! God, the creator of the universe, the one who was and is and is to come has given me 66 books of Himself. Why do I lack the hunger and thirst that so many others all over the world have? I don't have the answer...I'm still searching.
We very rarely have to depend solely on God. We always have a back up plan. Yes, there are times when we are stripped of that, but for the most part, we can live each day without truly needing God to provide for us in some way or another. I don't think I like that. In our weakness, we are made strong. And God is given the glory. So why do I try to do everything myself? If I would just live in dependence on Him, I would feel far richer and God would become far greater in my life. And people would see Him too, because it would be evident that I couldn't possibly survive without Him. Why don't I let Him prove His might? I don't have the answer...I'm still searching.
"Go and make disciples of all nations." That is a command. To everyone. Everyone is called to global missions. Everyone has been given the task of bringing Heaven to earth. And that doesn't mean we all need to go far away, but so often we make the excuse that we can do missions "right where God has you" and we don't do anything whatsoever. If God is calling you to make a difference in West Michigan, than make a difference in West Michigan!!! But that difference can still be global. And it should be. His heart reaches to the ends of the earth, and if it is no longer I who live, but Christ in me, than my heart should reach to the ends of the earth as well, even if that means I am reaching out without going out. There are so many things we should be doing. And we aren't. Why not?? I don't have the answer...I'm still searching.
Well, this post has become far longer than I intended, but those are just a few of the things on my mind. So my challenge to you (and to myself as well) is to seek out some answers. Ask yourself some hard questions and let the Spirit confront you. The worst that will happen is that your heart will be molded to be more like His.
Is your faith worth literally everything to you?
Is the Word of God like honey on your lips? Do you hunger and thirst for the knowledge of Him?
Do you live in a way that makes God greater and you less? Do you rely on Him?
Is your heart reaching to the ends of the earth?
As always, I deeply cherish your prayers.
Much love,
Gracie
Very convicting, thank you my sweet!
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