Saying Yes

Once again, I apologize for the lack of postage. When life seems "normal", it's hard to remember to blog about it. But here is just a blurb of what has been on my mind as of late...

With less than 50 days left, my brain feels like scrambled eggs anytime I think about what comes next. I so badly want to know, to plan, to prepare. I have wishes and desires, big dreams and small ones, but I just want to be told which ones are coming next. However, God hasn't been doing that.

I'm learning what it means to follow. I thought I knew. I thought I knew how to say yes to God's call. But in fact I am an amateur. Sure I'm here, but He made this Act I very clear. Act II isn't even coming in scenes, but in single lines. I know I want to see the end of the show, to be a part of it, but He hasn't given me the rest of the plot, He's just asked me to act. So I'm learning what yes looks like. I'm learning how to accept the role before knowing the part. Like Abraham, I know God is calling me to something awesome, but He hasn't given it a name. It's simply "the place I will show you." 

Clarity hasn't come. Ideas have, but concrete answers are eluding me. So I'm just saying yes. Wherever He brings me, I'm saying yes. Instead of looking down the corridor and asking for all 5 doors to be swinging wide, I'm in the hallway, knowing that there are more doors, but waiting for the very first one to open. And hopefully I can learn to be content with that.